“That’s what he said”

It’s almost Father’s Day. Since I did a Mother’s Day post for Goose, I’d like to do the same for my dear, old dad. (So, Big D… This one is for you.) I don’t have a book to review this time, but in order to communicate with him sometimes I feel like I need one.

A lot of times he uses made up words or speaks in a series of sayings that I, after having him as my pop for nearly 30 years, have grown to understand and yes, love. It’s constantly changing and new sayings are being added as time passes, so there’s always something new to learn. You’ll never be able to fully understand him as he is a very complex man, but consider this your tutorial on how to talk to Big D.

Bowtie Big D

Big D and Me

 

Big D and Deer

Old School D

 

Snazz-Getter: a car that is really cool, sporty, and that you don’t know the name of (Read: One that is snazzy, aka “gets snazz”)

 

Pizzy-Weets: (pronounced “peezy wheats”) pizza

 

Cry me a handful: (Make sure you hold out a cupped hand for this.) that is not a real problem; suck it up.

 

Tube: someone who is lacking brainpower, like a tube; empty inside

 

All you can retain is water: another statement on brainpower

 

Little bit of a kook: a nutty person

 

Gross me out the door with a green Toyota: gross; ew; gross me out

 

Weeria: (pronounced “WEER-ree-uh”) weird

 

Benny and the Band-aids: a made up band, meant to poke fun at the bands of my generation and their ridiculous names

 

Who Shot Ruby in the Naval: a made up song by Benny and the Band-aids, meant to make fun of said ridiculous bands’ equally ridiculous lyrics

 

Press your hurry button: (to be said condescendingly to drivers in front of you, or to the driver of the car you are riding in) go faster, moron

 

Two words: mo, ron: moron

 

Let those who will, be clever: (Honestly, I have no idea…) be smart; make good decisions

 

No matter where you go, there you’ll be: (Again, no clue… This was something said to annoy me when dropping me off at school.) have a good day

 

Make good decisions: (This one is self-explanatory.)

 

I ‘blieve he left his lips at home today: statement on Jeff Blauser, former shortstop for Atlanta Braves (He had small lips.)

 

Stop walking like you’re followin’ a plow: please stop walking like a farmer

 

Sofa-Turtle: a person having a hunch back, who’s neck juts forward (i.e. me, when sitting and messing with my phone)

 

Yes, yes, uh-huh: mmhmmmm

 

Smoking Waiters: a group of friends that I had after college that at the time were all servers and almost all of them smoked

 

Isn’t that special: (from SNL’s skit with Dana Carvey, the church lady) that’s nice

 

Don’t hit poor, old Daddy: (to be said kind of like a southern Eeyore) please stop hitting me (For the record, I do not hit my dad, but my sister, who has CP, taps him very heartily and often and this is what he says to her when that happens.)

 

… When I’m dead and gone: (ugh, morbid) you’ll miss me one day; you’ll remember this one day; you’ll laugh at this one day; you’ll be thankful for this one day

 

I look like the wreck of the hespers: (I’m not even sure how to spell “hespers.”) I look a hot mess

 

We can’t. I’m broke as a haint: We can’t do that today because I don’t feel like spending the money on it.

 

Blllllllllll-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch: (This is a sound, not a saying. It’s a rolling of the tongue followed by the repetition of the sound “ch.”) hurry up

 

Mmm, I said. Mmm, I said. Mmm, say mmm, I said: (This is said rhythmically.) that’s what I said; because I said so

 

You can take that to bank. You can bank on that: (Always say both together, in either order.) and that’s a fact

 

And I mean that thang: and that’s a fact; I mean it

 

Let’s all have sawdust for brains, pick our nose, flip it up, see where it goes: made up lyrics to mock a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. (I think it was Aeroplane)

 

Eat your food, Boo: eat your food

 

Sweet Baby: honey, darling, sweetie (used for me, my sister, or Goose)

 

Well, La-aw: (said rhythmically and very southern) Well, Lord!

 

Tote the weary load: (from Gone with the Wind) walking slowly; taking ones time; moving without a sense of urgency

 

I don’t him from Adam’s house cat: I don’t know him from Adam; I don’t know that person

 

We’ll see: no

 

Don’t just go flappin’ through: walking/running clumsily with no regard for ones surroundings

 

Sadie, get off that mantle:  When I was young, Sadie was our golden retriever, and he would say this knowing that I wasn’t asleep like I should be, so I would peak my head out of my room to see how in the world the dog got on the mantle. She was never there, and I was told “I knew you weren’t asleep. Go to bed.”

 

Hey, Scooter, wanna come with me: (This is reserved for my sister.) Wanna come with me somewhere?

 

You’re loved: I love you

 

Just as normal as he/she can be: usually referencing a friend of mine a celebrity in an interview, who presented themselves as a well-rounded, sane person

 

GLER-IOUS: (from My Father, the Hero) to describe a beautiful, full moon

 

It puts the lotion on its skin: (creep!) wear sunscreen

 

Desdemona: (reference to the character in Othello) a mopey teen who, like the character, enrages and disappoints her father

 

Coming in here like the last of the Mohicans: entering the house messy and muddy, as if from battle

 

Daddy loves you: I love you

 

I just think you’re too cool: you are a unique and gifted individual; I’m proud of you

 

You’re like a real person, only smaller: (only said to children) you just did something impressive and I can’t believe you are growing up so quickly

 

Nursery Rhymes:

Old Mother Hubbarb went to the cupboard to get her poor daughter a dress. When she got there, the cupboard was bare… And so was her daughter, I guess.

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on ““That’s what he said”

  1. Barb says:

    I do believe I’ve personally heard him say almost every single one of those! Loved reading them, Claire! Profound words of wisdom from my brotha from another motha!

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